It’s Just Me, Myself, and I…

Living in Grenada has made me realize some major realities about myself…

1.)  I’m high maintenance…Like, really high maintenance.  Like, even more high maintenance than even I was aware of prior to living here.  I’ve always liked to think of myself as somewhat adventurous, however it has become clear to me that I am anything but.  I see a lot of the other significant others (who are also living here as their hubby’s go through med school) going about their days hiking, snorkeling, and basically participating in all things outdoorsy, and I think to myself, “Wow, that sounds like tons of fun!”  However then I remember that I hate getting dirty, and I’m afraid of anything that could potentially include getting bruised or blemished in any way, shape, or form.  Thus, concluding my very high maintenance status.

Yes, I basically heart anything that doesn't involved getting dirty...

2.)  I am not a natural at the whole housewife thing.  Although, I do try really really hard at it, and Matt has reassured me that I’m a great housewife.  However, I still somehow feel like I’m lacking in that department.  For instance, I love things to be clean, but I loathe cleaning.  I really heart clean laundry, but I hate the process of doing it.  I actually do love love love cooking, but I hate cleaning everything up afterwards.  Let me add, that I do indeed carry out on all the above tasks, it’s just that I wish I was more enthusiastic about it.  Maybe I will find new devotion to it once we actually have an apartment that is bigger than this one teeny room. <–married housing.  Here’s hoping…

This is pretty accurate...

3.)  I am definitely a city girl.  I used to daydream with friend from my old job in the city, about how we would leave our stressful lives and move to a tropical island and just braid hair all day long.  AHHH WHAT?!  Like, seriously what the h was I thinking when I said this??!!  The reality is that island life is gorgeous, with beautiful weather and breathtaking beaches…but it’s an extremely slow-paced life here, with difficulties completing some of the simplest chores.  There is simply no rush to get anything done, which is fine and dandy for this culture, but for me, it drives me to loony-ville, and has made me realize that I thrive in a much faster paced lifestyle.  Just sayin’….

4.)  I reeeeally heart reality tv.  Grenada has brought about a new appreciation for all things reality for me…from Sister Wives, to Jersey Shore, can’t forget the whole Housewife gang, oh yeah, and Bachelor/Bachelor Pad, American Idol, and the list could really go on and on.  I know, I know, it sounds like all I watch is mindless television, right?  Well, you are right, but isn’t all television sort of mindless anyway? <–I’m totally just finding a way to excuse my trashy television taste….but you probably could already tell that.

And Last…

5.)  I really enjoy my time with just me, myself, and I.  I’ve always been someone who marches to the beat of my own drum, and this experience has only magnified it.  I’m not saying I don’t like to hang out with my friends, or to get out and do fun things, because I do.  What I am saying, is that I really love my alone time, and have found that it’s essential for me to prosper.  I love to read, write, listen to music, exercise, etc.  Most of these things I do solo, and I love it.  Call me a loner, if you will, but I disagree.  I just happen to really love the time I have to think, reflect, get my school work done, and to

basically…

The End~

WWDD (What Would Dolly Do?)…

Previously I have talked about Larry David being my fairy godfather, but one person whom I have only just touched upon in my blog, is also a detrimental and fictitious player in my crazy little world;  Dolly Parton.  I know, I know it’s hard to take her seriously sometimes with those big jugs, but Doll actually has some really profound things to say, and along with Lar, I like to think of Doll as my fairy godmother.  Whenever I’m in a bind I like to call upon the Doll-inator and ask WWDD<–Btdubs, no pun intended on the double D’s…Just sayin…

Didn't Doll use to be a total Betty? No offense Doll, you still totally are...

For some reason, I think Dolly is the bomb.  I think the coolest thing about her, is that she is true to who she is, and she is just real.  Okay, okay so obvi all of her is def not real, but when I say ‘real’ I’m not referring to her massive bajunga’s, I am talking about her heart, soul, character, and disposition.  Dolly has got spunk, and she doesn’t apologize for who she is.  She enjoys lots of make-up, gaudy clothes and jewelry, flaunting her attributes, and telling it like it is.  However, she is still an amazing musical artist, philanthropist, author, actress, and a wife of 45 years to the same man.  Nobody said that an inspirational woman had to fit into a certain mold, and I realize Doll is not your typical role model/fairy godmother, but she is mine, and I heart her always.

I have to admit, I am a little jeal that Miley Cyrus has got Doll for an actual fairy godmother.

Luckyyyyyyyy duck.

Here are some of my fave Dolly quotes:

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.”

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

“My weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order.”

“You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.”

“It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen.”

“I never let a rhinestone go unturned”

And a classic Dolly quote:

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!”

And just a little somethin’ from Dolly the jokester:

“I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.”

And I saved my favorite Dolly quote for last…

“The magic is inside you. There ain’t no crystal ball.”

…Spoken like a true fairy godmother…

~The End

Who does that?!?!I Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!

Do you ever notice that there are certain people who seem to have no shame whatsoever?  This inappropriate behavior can rear its ugly head in many, many forms.  Examples of these kinds of people, might be the person who tells a really inappropriate/obscene joke in front of your g-ma (grandma), or someone who ignores a blind person who needs help crossing the street.  These are the individuals whom you just can’t help but declare…

Who does that?!?!I  Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!

Lately, I have had a ton of “Who does that?!?!I  Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!” moments.  I am not even kidding, I have seriously looked over my shoulder a time or two for Ashton Kutcher to jump out of the bushes, and to say, “Dude, you’ve been Punk’d,” or I glance around for anyone who even resembles Borat, to make sure that I’m not being thrust into feature film that I haven’t consented to.  However, much to my chagrin, there are no cameras, no Ashton Kutcher, no Borat, and nothing at all fake about these encounters.  This is just real-life, bat-sh*t crazy bull stuff that is goin’ down in a major way…and also really good material to blog about.  Without further adieu, I bring you…

My top 5:  “Who does that?!?!I  Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!” Moments Lately…

1.)  I was in line at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries, when a man walked up behind me with one bottle of water and a pack of gum.  He kindly asked me if he could cut in front me because I had a lot, and well, he had a little, and he had a friend waiting outside in a car to pick him up.  I said, “Sure.  No problem,” and I proceeded to let him step in front of me…when all of the sudden, his wife/gf came rolling up with a cart full of twice the amount of groceries that were in my cart, and he let her also step right in front of me!  I made eye contact with him as if to say, “What the h is going on?!”  He was not fazed at all by my dirty look, and he actually smiled and winked at me. <–Ummm eeew?


2.) 
The bus system on campus, where my husband goes to medical school, was totally out of whack one afternoon.  It was so backed up, that it caused more people to be waiting for a bus, than there was enough room to accommodate.  People were being fairly considerate, letting others step in front of them, who had waited longer, but there was one exception to the rule, as there always is.  After having waited for at least 45 minutes for a bus (that normally comes every 10 minutes), it was finally my turn.  As I stepped forward for my turn to ascend up the bus steps, I was quickly interrupted by a man 3 times my body weight, who proceeded to step on my foot, and basically remove me from his path, so that he could get in front of me and take my turn.  The worst part, is that I actually see this person at the gym every single day and he has no shame whatsoever.  <–Oh no he di-ent.

3.)  Last semester I was in our apartment on campus, and had just gotten out of the shower.  I walked over to the window to shut the blinds, when I noticed a custodial worker, who was just about to sit down right outside my window to enjoy his lunch, and a free peep show (or so he thought.)  Instead of getting up and being embarrassed once he saw me standing there at the window, he actually waved and smiled at me, and proceeded to sit down and open up his brown bag lunch anyway. <—Ummm, WTF?!

4.)  I was in line at Subway getting my uj (usual), when the sandwich artist complimented my head band.  I was surprised, because it was just a stretchy headband that I wear to the gym to keep my bangs back, but I said “Thank you,” to which she proceeded with, “Can I have it?”  So, I laughed (hoping she was joking), and when my uncomfortable laughter subsided, I glanced over at her, but she was not laughing…or smiling…she was just looking at me.  So, I was so uncomfortable that I actually took the head band off and gave it to her…yes, you heard me right.  I gave it to the creepy girl, and she took it…and she put it on, right then and there in front of me, and continued to make my turkey sandwich.<–Ummm, wait.  Did that, like, really just happen?  Why, yes, yes it did.

5.)  I was walking out of a store when a random man and I crossed paths.  As we passed each other, like two ships in the night, he actually yelled out to me loudly, “Hey, why don’t you smile a little?”  I was so dumbfounded as everyone else turned around to see what all the hollering was about, that I was actually at a loss for words.  The thing was, I didn’t think that I wasn’t smiling. <–Umm, seriously dude?  WTH?

Perhaps I should have told him that sometimes Sarah Smiles Awhile…and sometimes not so much…

The End.