No Soup For You.

You guys are never going to believe what just happened to me.

Before I get into it, does anyone remember this guy?

You know the "Soup Nazi" who tormented Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer on Seinfeld?

I only ask, because I basically just had an Elaine moment. <–P.S.  I said Elaine, because she was the only girl in the group, and I really like her hair…but not when she wears it half up and half down…never mind.

Anyway, my latest food fixation is Subway.  It’s not really a new discovered food craving per se, but more of a rediscovery.  Every night for the past week and a half, I have been making my way down the little hill from where our apartment is, and to the Subway on campus.  Yes, it’s the same Subway where I gave the infamous girl my headband.  If you don’t remember, perhaps you might want to refresh your memory and read Who does that?!?!!  Like, seriously who does that?!!!

So, Subway and I have been having quite a love affair, and it’s been presenting itself in the form of a footlong turkey on wheat, with lettuce, tomato, lots of cucumbers, and vinegar (hold the oil.)  I’ve had a nice little routine going; I get a footlong, and eat half for dinner, and the other half for lunch the next day.

I’m not going to say my experience at Subway is always easy, because it’s not.  I’m even going to go as far as to say, that to get that footlong sub, it’s a labor of love.  In fact, I usually have to put up with quite the debacle, before finally sinking my teeth into my delicious sub.  For example, on average, I usually end up waiting in line for at least 20-25 minutes (even if there are only 2 or 3 people in front of me).  So, now do you get the point?

Tonight, I went to Subway for the 15 consecutive day in a row, but it was not like the normal fiasco’s that I have become so familiar with.  This time it was different…and not in a good way.

Here is the part where I will give you a blow by blow of how it all went down.

Me:  Hi, how are you?

Just like Elaine, I nonchalantly ordered my sandwich.

1st Sandwich Artist:  (Looks at me and rolls her eyes.)

Me:  Can I please have a footlong turkey on wheat?

1st Sandwich Artist:  (Rolls her eyes again.)  She then pulls out an extremely burnt piece of bread from a cooling rack behind her, and proceeds to try and cut it.  However, it’s so burnt, that the bread has become rubbery, and the knife gets stuck.

Now let me just interject a little something here.  For some reason I always get the burnt bread.  Always.  It never fails, I’ll look at the person in front of me and behind me, and they always have these perfectly baked golden subs, and mine is always crusty and burnt.  The thing is, I never ever say anything, because I don’t want to be a pain, but today I was just over the burnt bread.  So, I said something…

Me:  Excuse me, I don’t mean to be a pain, but can I get a different piece of bread that is not so dark?

1st Sandwich Artist:  That’s all we have.

Lie, lies, lies.  I looked at a cooling rack directly behind her, and there were at least 50 different subs that were not burnt.

Me:  Okay.

I was annoyed, but what can you do? 

My sub then got moved onto the part where you get veggies, leaving me with no chance to protest, even if I wanted to.

1st Sandwich Artist:  What do you want?

Me:  Can I please have lots of lettuce, tomato, and lots of cucumbers please?

She then proceeded to stingily put some lettuce on the sub, but it didn’t even cover the entire footlong.  I reasoned, maybe she thought I said a little lettuce and not a lot?

Me:  I’m sorry but could I have a little more lettuce?

She totally ignored me, and proceeded to slop on two tomato’s that were rotten looking and yellowy, and put on three tiny pieces of cucumber. 

Umm…wait a sec, didn’t I ask for extra lettuce and cucumbers?  What is wrong with this picture?!  I look at my sad footlong sub staring through the glass at me, and I knew I had to fight for my sub.

Me:  I’m sorry, but can I please have more cucumbers?  (I didn’t even bother with the lettuce or tomato’s.)

1st Sandwich Artist:  She rolled her eyes at me again, and proceeded to pick out the tiniest cucumber, putting ONE more on.

I felt my blood starting to boil, but I kept telling myself, “It’s just a sandwich.  Chill out.”  But no, I couldn’t chill out.  

I watched as she pushed the sandwich onto the 2nd Sandwich Artist for the dressing, and whispered something in her ear, though I didn’t know what.

I ignored them, and focused my attention on the 2nd Sandwich Artist.

Me:  Excuse me, can I have some more cucumbers?  (Notice I was no longer saying please.)

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Me:  No?

I'm fairly certain I also made this face...

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Now I know how Elaine felt.

Me:  Why?

2nd Sandwich Artist:  Because she (meaning 1st Sandwich Artist) already gave you extra.

Me:  But she didn’t give me extra, she didn’t even put enough on to cover the whole sandwich to begin with.

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Me:  What are you even saying “no” to?

Random guy behind me starts chuckling.

2nd Sandwich Artist: No.

Me: Okay well, I’ll pay for extra cucumbers….

On a side note, I know for a fact there is an option on their cash register to pay for extra veggies, because just the other day I got charged $1.50 extra for  jalapeno’s.

2nd Sandwich Artist: No.

Me:  Okay, so let me get this straight…I can’t have extra cucumbers on my sandwich, and I can’t buy them either?  I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused here.  Why?

2nd Sandwich Artist:  Because she already gave you extra.

1st Sandwich Artist and 2nd Sandwich Artist look at each other and roll their eyes.

That was it.  The last duo eye roll did me in.

I saw red.

Me:  You’re rude (I looked at 1st Sandwich Artist), and you’re rude ( I looked at 2nd Sandwich Artist), and I don’t want your sh*tty sandwich.

And that was that.  I walked out without my sandwich, and I didn’t even care, because I walked out in a freaking blaze of glory.  The guy standing behind me applauded me.  No  really, he actually clapped for me.  The whole thing was ludicrous.  I forgot to mention, it was the end of the night, don’t they usually just throw the uneaten veggies away at the end of the night anyway?!  It was clear that they were just trying to be rude, and it worked.

By the time I got home the adrenaline had worn off, and I was actually kind of bothered about the whole thing.  I’m not going to lie, I was mostly sad that I could never show my face in my favorite Subway again, and I was sad that my love affair with my footlong turkey subs on wheat, had come to a crashing halt.  I was also a little disappointed about how I was treated.

Oh well.

At least I went out Terminator style.

Oh Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh

~The End.

Photos by IMDB

Remember When…The TV Addition…

Remember when…

Daria was sooooo not amused, and Quinn wore baby tee’s every day?

Daria, you were so ahead of your time.

Or when…

Doug had the hots for Patty Mayonnaise?

Patti was quite the hottie.

Or when…

The Rugrats used to say cute words like, “nakey?”

Yikes, remember Angelica, too?

Remember when…

Jordan Catalano’s baby blues made up for his lack of social skills, and his ability to articulate?

Never was the word "like" used so much in one sentence, and never did it sound so good.

Or when…

Joey Potter couldn’t stop smiling and talking out of the side of her mouth?

"Dawson, I'm the girl that guys are friends with, not the girl that guys date." Oh Joey...

Or when…

Felicity chopped off her hair? (I’m still not over that one.)

Things got awkward when Felicity's hair was as short as both of the lead men on the show...

Remember when…

Nick and Jessica were so in love, and even farted in front of each other to show the whole world just how solid of a couple they were?

I wouldn't get too close to the danger zone if I were you, Nick, she's been known to clear a room.

Or when…

Jessica brought the shawl back, and the no make-up look?

P.S. Weren't these Jess's glory days? She never looked so good as she did on Newlyweds. Why is that?

Remember when…

Clarissa really did explain it all?

So young, but so wise...

Or when…

Blossom wore those weird hats?

I bet she wishes she could take this one back...

Or when…

Charles was in charge of our days and our nights?

What a guy, what a guy...

Or when…

Urkel loved his cheese, and Laura Winslow?

"Got any cheeeeeeese?"

Remember when…

Jessie Spano had a break down?

"I'm so excited...I'm so excited...I'm. So. Scared." <--What was the lesson to be learned here? That if you take too many diet pills, you're going to have a break down...or end up in a movie called Showgirls.

Or when…

Zack and Kelly broke up?  GASP!!!

Oh, the heartbreak...

Or when…

Slater used to call Jessie “Mama?”  <–Wee bit awkward.

Now that's what I call true love...

Remember when…

Kelly and Brenda fought over Dylan…for, like, centuries?

Three was definitely a crowd for these guys...

Or when…

Andrea Zuckerman looked entirely too old to play a high school student?

C'mon Aaron Spelling, she looks like a G-ma!

Or when…

Brandon had that awesome haircut?

Brandon was rocking the blow out long before Pauly D came onto the scene.

~The End.

Hello Procrastination My Old Friend, I’ve Come To Talk With You Again.

AHHHHHH procrastination, we have such a toxic relationship, so why do we keep coming back to each other?  WHY???!!!

Procrastination and I are kind of like Sid and Nancy, but without all the hairspray.

Oh, Sid and Nanc, the epitome of a dysfunctional relationship. P.S. If you haven't seen "Sid and Nancy" I highly recommend it.

The thing is, when I put things off it never turns out well.  I’m not really sure why I don’t learn my lesson.  I absolutely hate the feeling of scrambling at the last-minute to get things done, and each time I find myself in that position, I vow to never drag my feet ever again.  It’s always the same, though, even when I tell myself that I’ll do things differently the next time.

And yet…

There I am once again saying hello to my old friend, Procrastination.

UGH.

I’ve noticed a trend with my procrastination, though.  It goes in spurts.  I will have weeks and weeks of getting all of my school work done in a timely fashion, exercising regularly, cooking very involved meals, and in general just getting lots of stuff done.  Then it’s inevitable, I hit a wall, and that is exactly what happened to me this week.  The past two weeks Matt and I both have had midterms, and I also had a ten page research paper for an Abnormal Psychology class due that just about killed me!  On top of that, I had to submit fifteen pages for a novels class I’m in.  Even though I didn’t wait until the last-minute to prepare for any of those projects, by the time it was all over, I crashed big time.  This week so far has been a total bust, and I can’t really afford for it to be.  I have plenty to get done by tomorrow, and I really haven’t done anything substantial yet.

AND….

I’m procrastinating even further by writing this post.

Because as you can see…

This is honestly a pretty good depiction of me today (minus the awesome blue phone.)

So far today…

  • I’ve broken one of my pre-New Years Resolutions and already updated on Facebook twice.
  • I’ve eaten an entire bag of POP chips even though I wasn’t hungry.
  • I’ve talked on Skype for an average of 2 hours so far.
  • I’ve researched recipes for din-din for at least an hour.

And lastly…

  • I spent entirely way too long reading up on the latest Kim Kardashian drama.

What ever is a girl to do?!

To answer my own question…

Get it together, Palma!

Does anyone else have the same problem with procrastination?  We can always form a club and make awesome excuses for each other…tomorrow.  Thoughts?

Perhaps this can be our logo…

Who is with me? Anybody with me?

Let me know if you’re interested.

Until then, back to work.

~The End.

I Resolve To:

A New Years Resolution in October?  I think yes!  Every year I make a New Years Resolution and I try really, really hard to stick to it.  Just to give you an idea, some of my resolutions in the past have been: to go back to school and finish my degree, stop drinking pop (or soda whatever you’d prefer to call it.  I’m from Michigan, we say pop), start exercising regularly, start a blog, and start reading directions (because reading directions is one of the banes to my existence.)

So, this week I got to thinking about what my resolution will be for next year.  Typically l start to come up with an idea a few months in advance, so once New Year Day comes around, I’m not scrambling to come up with something on the fly.

Care to fill in the blank?

As ideas started coming to me, I couldn’t help but think~ Why do we wait until January to make these resolutions?  Why not start now?!

I had never thought of it that way before.  I’m sure by January 1st I will have come up with other ideas as well, but for now, these are the resolutions I am going to start today…or maybe tomorrow, because some of these are really hard.

5.)  Limit writing posts on Facebook to once a week, and keep them benign.  Also, sign onto Facebook once every few days, and nothing more than that.

Well, I have learned over the past few years through my tumultuous relationship with Facebook that no matter what you write, someone has an opinion, unless it’s something really harmless like, “Hooray!  I’m getting married today!!”  Then, what can someone say?  There is no leeway for it to get personal.  I vow to stop writing anything on Facebook that could be misconstrued in any way, shape, or form, today!  No matter how meaningless I think what I’m writing is, if there is any part of me that has hesitation about it, then it doesn’t go up.  Period.

Also, get off Facebook already!  God, what is my problem?  I am always saying how annoying Facebook is and blah, blah, blah, yet I continue to go on every day.  Not anymore.  I will not go on Facebook more that once every few days, as to avoid the Facebook burn out.

Wow, I feel better already!  Don’t you?

4.)  Quit being so hard on myself.

I am by far my toughest critic.

For example~  “Why did I get a B?  I could have gotten an A.”

Or…

“If I don’t make the Deans List again this semester, than that means I suck at school.”

Or the one I am famous for lately…

“I’m getting a wrinkle on my forehead,  why the h isn’t this wrinkle cream working?” <-Said with great despair.

Why would any normal human being think these things?  I hear myself saying them, but it doesn’t register that they’re irrational.  I mean, now that I’m writing it down I can see it, but why when I am in the moment do I not understand that?  Whatever the reason, it’s clear I have to stop the destruction now.

3.)  Stop cutting my hair.

This picture is giving me anxiety...Yikes.

You all remember what happened the last time I cut my hair, right?  Somehow every time I do it, I seem to think the result is going to be different.  Isn’t that the definition of insanity?  However, the next time I go to reach for the scissors, I will get an imaginary slap on the wrist.

That’s it, no more cutting my own hair, and that means bangs, too, missy!  You got that?

2.)  Stop trying to map out the future.

I’ve noticed that I am always thinking ahead.  I am always planning for a worst case scenario, or looking into the future for what it might hold.  Most of the time this makes me feel like I am going bonkers.  I vow to start taking a breather and just living in the moment more, instead of planning for what’s coming next.

Now for the last one, also known as the most important one…

1.)  Start seeing the glass half full.

Half full or half empty? You decide.

Well, this is going to be a tough one.  In fact, I’m not entirely positive that I can actually stick with it.  I know it sounds a bit cynical to admit to being a “glass half empty” person, but I don’t look at it that way.  The way I see it, is that I am realistic.  Matt is the dreamer, and I am the voice of reason usually.  However, I admire his outlook on life.  He is a very positive person, and he is not afraid of his dreams.  He’s also not afraid of failing.  How many people can really say that they’re not afraid of failing?  Yeah, Matt’s pretty awesome.  That’s why I married him.

Anyway, I heard a Steve Jobs quote right after he passed away, and to me, it pretty much summed up Matt.  The quote was, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.”  I’ve decided I want to be more like that, foolish, because although being realistic can protect you from disappointment, it doesn’t enable you to take the kinds of risks that pay off big time.

So, what are some of your New Year’s Resolutions?

~The End…

The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind

This is one of the sweetest songs I have heard in a very, very long time, and if you haven’t heard it yet, give it a listen.  Please?  I promise you won’t regret it, and it may even touch your soul a little, too.  Maybe?  You never know…

(Just click on this link –>) The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind

The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind

By: Griffin House

You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit, you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work you and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind
Well I been down and I need your help I’ve been feeling sorry for myself
Don’t hesitate to boost my confidence
I been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love-protection
What do you say, honey, come to my defense?
I’ll stand up for you if it’s what you need and I can take a punch, I don’t mind to bleed
As long as afterwards you feel bad for me
And you give me all of your attention I got deep desire and it needs quenchin’
I think that’s pretty plain for you to see
Hell, enough about me and more about you cause that’d be the gentlemanly thing to do
I hope you like your men sweet and polite
I thought I was done with telling you but I ain’t nearly halfway through
I got a few more things I’d like to say to you tonight
You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind
You always did kind of drive me crazy and pissed me off ‘cause I let it faze me
But I never wanted my time with you to end
Now I’m back in town for a day or two and mostly I came back just to see you
I’m leaving now but I don’t want to go
You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind

Don’t you sometimes just need to hear that you’re a gem, and that someone would have to be straight up crazy to say goodbye to you?  That’s what I love about this song, it reminds you that someday someone will adore you for everything you are, everything you almost are, and everything you can and will be…(Basically like Dorothy Boyd said in Jerry Maguire.)

So, remember that the guy/girl who says goodbye to you is out of their mind, and that they can go blow.  You’ve got better things to do.

P.S.  I asked Matt to send me the mp3 of this song in an email when he was sitting at his desk studying, and when I opened it, there was the link and an email that said, “From where I sit, you’re one of a kind.”  <–Ummm…Ceeeee-UUUUte, right?

Glad he never said goodbye to me…

P.P.S.  Hope you all liked the song…

~The End.

Remember When…

Remember when…

Britney Spears wearing a sexy school girl outfit in her video Hit Me Baby (One More Time)  was scandalous?

Brit Brit was the talk of the town...

And now this is what we consider scandalous…

Taylor Momsen, who at 16, flashed a crowd at a performance and talked openly in interviews about sex and vibrators. Ummm, WHAT?!

Remember when…

Wearing jeans that practically showed your unmentionables (both front and back) was cool?  <–P.S.  What was that all about?  You couldn’t even sit down without your crack making an appearance, and from the front you had to make sure your you know what wasn’t showing.  Ummm…sounds AWKWARD and uncomfortable now.

From what I remember, the zipper would only be, like, 1 inch long.

Now we’ve graduated to wearing the “mom jeans” (sorry to all the mom’s out there, it’s just an expression) again…

Still not sure how I feel about these...

Remember when…

Brad Pitt seemed sweet and dated Gwenny?  They had matching haircuts/color and everything…

Awww, ain't that sweet?

And when he still seemed sweet and met and married Jen?

C'mon, can we get a collective "Awwwww..." up in this piece already?

And then when he turned into a huge a-hole when he met Angie (as he calls her…Barf) Jolie?

He even recently called his former marriage to Jen, and I quote, "boring and fake." Ummm...Eeew?

Remember when…

Cell phones used to basically be cordless telephones?

This Nokia was the very first phone I had...

And now we’re all high tech and sh*t…

And have the iPhone with all these crazy apps, and can also (GASP!!) go on the interweb?! Fancy pants.

Remember when…

Kennedy was a VJ on MTV?

Didn't she seem so cool at the time?

And Jesse…

OMGEEEE...

And who could forget Carson?

And remember when he was engaged to Tara Reid, and was said to have slept with Britney AND XTina? So outrageous...

Now we have Damien?  I’m so out of the loop I don’t even know who he is…(I totally had to google “MTV Vj’s 2011”)…

Who the h is this dude anyway?

Remember when…

My flip-flop got stuck on the rug in the bathroom when I went to sit down on the toilet, and I totally fell off and skinned by elbow yesterday?

Oh wait, I don’t have a picture of that…<–You’re prob relieved, right?!

And yeah, that really happened…

Remember when…

Everyone was obsessed with Tommy Girl?

So crispy, so fresh...

And Sunflowers?

Oh, nostalgia....

And who could forget CK One?

The original unisex scent...fab.

Now we have…

Gotta love the Burb...

So…

What are some of your “remember when’s?”

~The End…

All photos courtesy of MTV, IMDB, and Perfumania.

The Best Advice I’ve Ever Received…

Are you ready?

Be genuine.  

Or also…just be yourself…be authentic…be real…etc…

These two little words ‘be genuine’ sound so simple, don’t they?  However, I think they are harder to live by.  I think that sometimes in life it’s easier to not be yourself, and to be the person that people want you to be, and not who you truly are.  I think it’s human nature to want harmony, and sometimes the easiest way to get there is to be someone you’re not.  This might come in the form of not speaking up in a situation where your opinion differs from others, e.g. politics, religion, etc., or in relationships of all kinds, both romantic and platonic.  I can honestly say that, I for one, have done this, and have also been a repeat offender of it, too.  At my bridal shower someone put me on the spot and asked me what about this relationship with my husband was different from other relationships I’ve had, and the answer was simple.  I can be myself.  It’s not that I wasn’t myself in other relationships, because I was, but I think that I was an edited version of myself.  I didn’t do it intentionally, but I think I also didn’t really know who I was at the time, either.  After a particularly bad break-up in my mid 20’s, I spent a long time just being alone, and had an opportunity to figure out the things thatenjoyed.  During that time on my own, I realized what the problem was in other relationships; I wasn’t myself completely, and the reality was, I wasn’t dating people who allowed me to be me.  Once I realized that, I decided that in my next relationship I was going to be 100%, without a doubt, completely unbridled, me.

And I was.

And it worked out for me.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work out that way all the time, or it actually does in retrospect.  Sometimes being yourself means the end of a relationship, but I think that’s okay.  In fact, I think its better than okay.  It’s the best thing for you.  The end of a relationship, where you have genuinely been yourself, is a gift because it means that you are no longer wasting your time, and you’re now free to move onto finding the person who will truly appreciate you for who you are.  That’s exactly how it happened for me, and I wouldn’t change a thing.  With my husband I can say whatever I want about anything, and although he might look at me sometimes like I’m crazy, he never judges me.  I don’t have to apologize for who I am, or what I think, and I’m glad I have finally learned how to live by such simple words, and at the same time, have found someone who also allows me to.

I think if you aren’t genuine, it can really bite you in the ‘a for various reasons, some of which I have just discussed…

So…

And when you do, be you. Just do it. <--That's what Nike said.

And that is why, in my opinion, there is no better advice than “be genuine”…

Or is there?…

I thought I’d leave you with a couple of silly zingers that were also in the running for the best advice I’ve ever received.  These quotes are courtesy of my Grandma Barkoff and Matt’s Nana.  Don’t G-ma’s have the best advice, like, ever?!

My Grandma Barkoff:

“Sometimes you gotta eat the sh*t.” <–A simple saying for the times when you have to just suck it up, and deal with the curve balls life throws you.

“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

“What a life without a wife, and here I am without a man.” (She said this both to me when I didn’t have a boyfriend, and about herself after my grandpa passed away.)

“You can’t catch ’em on the second bounce.” (Basically means that sometimes you don’t have more than one chance, so be mindful with the first.)

Matt’s Nana:

“You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”

“Pat someone on the back while you’re kicking them in the a** at the same time.” <–Ha!  Classic!

“It’s better to be a silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.”

And finally, a quote that Matt and I discovered both of our grandmothers told us when we were growing up:

“He who laughs last, laughs best.”

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?