The Class of 2011 Most Over-Exposed Celebrity Superlatives

Can we talk about all the overexposed reality stars and celebrities for a minute?

Before I go any further, I would just like to say that almost all the people I’m about to call out, I have once been a fan of.  However, somehow or some way, they or their PR people ran rampant with their fame, and now every time I see them I cannot help but let out a huge groan saying, “Please, for the love, just go away for a while!  Please?”

What I’m wondering is why aren’t their agents, managers, public relations teams, families, friends, etc., giving them good advice and telling them to lay low for a little while?  Seriously, why is nobody doing that?!

With that, I bring you…

The Class of 2011 Most Over-Exposed Celebrity Superlatives:

Biggest Train-Wreck

Christina Aguilera

Duuuuuude, what happened to you?

Remember when X-Tina used to be a classy little babe?  Okay, so maybe she was never really “classy” per se, but she definitely used to take better care of herself.  Now, every time we hear about her, it’s either because she is wasted, flubbing the lyrics to the national anthem, or just acting like a train-wreck in general.  X-Tina, I think it might be time for an intervention…What do ya say?

Biggest Fraud

Miley Cyrus

Would Micky Mouse approve of this get-up?

I’m not going to be too hard on Miley, she’s young and maybe she’s just finding herself, but at the same time, when did she go from being a Disney darling to…well…what she is now?  Maybe it was all the private vaca’s with her boyfriends when she was 16, or maybe her parents gave her too much freedom?  Whatever the reason, Miley is way out of control, and she needs someone to bring her back to reality, or else her career is headed for La-Lohan ville.  C’mon Miley get it together, and take a break from the limelight for a minute, okay?

Most Dysfunctional Family

The Kardashian’s

I have no words for this caption.

I must confess, I really was a fan of the Kardashian’s for a long time, but somewhere between Kim’s 72 day marriage and Rob’s stint on Dancing With The Stars, I had an intense urge to scream every time I saw one (or all of them) on the tele.  Sure the show is funny…sometimes, but you can’t deny that they are quite dysfunctional.  Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim all talk openly and vulgarly about sex in front of their two young sisters, and overall, they are just inappropriate in every way, shape, and form.  The thing is, the Kardashian’s  have taken over the world, and here’s the kicker, none of them are talented!  For anything!  Wait, why are they famous again?  It’s time to leave America alone for a little while, Kardashian’s.  Please say you’ll give us a breather?  Maybe then we’ll miss you.  Maybe.

Biggest Loser

Ashton Kutcher

Ugh.

C’mon dude, really?  Why’d you have to play Demi like that?  Didn’t we all saw it coming though?  I don’t know about you, but I always felt like he was kind of using Demi for her fame.  He openly cheated on her multiple times, and after the second time, he didn’t even try to hide it.  It poses the question, was he trying to get caught, so Demi would have to be the one to pull the plug on the marriage?  Way to break up with her like a 7th grader, Ashton…Ugh, go away.

Biggest “I Want to Like You, But You’re Really Annoying Me Lately”

Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor, Please stop making this face. Thank you.

I want to like you, Taylor Swift, I really do.  You seem really sweet, and like a genuinely nice person, but you’re really annoying me.  Has anyone else wondered what Taylor Swift is so freaking surprised by?  First of all, she wins EVERYTHING!  She’s on the CMT awards sweeping it, the MTV awards winning everything, the Grammy’s taking home the most awards…so what the h is she so shocked by?  She would annoy me less if she just went up there to accept an award and said, “Wow, so I totally knew I was probably gonna win this, because let’s face it, I win everything and I’m awesome.”

Biggest Man-Eater

Jennifer Lopez

The ink isn't even dry on her divorce papers.

J-Lo hasn’t changed a bit in the 11 or 12 years she has been in the limelight.  She has always been the girl who jumps from one relationship to the next.  The ink isn’t even dried yet on her divorce papers to Marc Anthony, and she is already vacationing with a 24-year-old dancer.  I’m not sure if J-Lo doesn’t like to be alone, or if she just enjoys life more in a relationship, but either way, that’s her business and to each their own.  All I’m saying is, it’s okay if she doesn’t need a breather in between relationships, but America might need one, before we see her gallivanting with yet another lover.

Most Untalented Duo

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson

Why are these two famous again?

So, first came Jessica…she was cute and bubbly with an amazing voice circa 2000-2002, but then something happened.  She got bad advice, and started over-singing and making really disturbing faces while doing so.  A few years later, Ashlee rode on Jess’s coattails and came onto the scene.  Sure her reality show was entertaining for a minute, and her music was even kind of enjoyable, too.  However, both of their star power petered out by 2006-2007, but somehow they still remain in the celebrity news.  Why?  Neither one makes music anymore, and they’re not really doing anything worth reporting.  It might be time for the Simpson sister’s to retire.  Somehow I think Joe Simpson would have a problem with that, though…

Biggest Disaster/Most In Denial

Lindsay Lohan

Really Lindsay, no one told you painting F*** U on your nails for court appearance was a bad idea?

Lindsay Lohan…what is there left to even say that hasn’t already been said?  She is a disaster.  I feel bad for her in a way, because it doesn’t seem like she has anyone in her camp (including her mother) giving her good advice.  Instead, she only has people  enabling her bad behaviors, and re-enforcing her ridiculous antics.  Sadly, jail time wasn’t even a wake up call for this lost soul.  I don’t know what the future holds for La-Lohan, but my gut feeling tells me it’s not anything good.

So, tell me…

Who do you think is the most over-exposed in 2011?

~The End.

Photos by TMZ, People.com, usmagazine.com, and IMDB.

10 Songs That Shaped My Life…

10.)  Love Shack by The B-52’s

“Tin roof…Rusted…” <–C’mon who doesn’t remember that?!

I fell in love with this song at the ripe old age of 8, and it is my first memory of hearing a song, and feeling an intense urge to bust a move.  This song sprung a barrage of made up dances between me and my childhood best friend, and I always, and I repeat ALWAYS had to do the “Tin roof…Rusted part,” or else I got really p’o-ed.  Just ask Bekka Parker (she was my childhood bff.)  Anyway, recently my brother heard it on satellite radio and he had to let me know, because I think he, along with my whole family, remembers when my friend and I would make up dances to it, and demand that they all watch us dance around like little freaks.  I think they’re still scarred…

Ummm...cowbells as an instrument? Brilliant!

Listen to it and see if it makes you wanna shake your groove thing…

04_-_love_shack_-_cosmic_thing 

9.)  The Sign by Ace of Base

Just a few short years later when I was about 11 or 12 “The Sign” came onto the scene.  I remember I was at the roller rink for a birthday party, and I heard this catchy pop melody playing from the jukebox, and thinking, “What is that glorious pop music I am hearing right now?!  I must find out!”  Someone informed me it was Ace of Base’s “The Sign,” which instantaneously put me on a mission the second I got home, to pop a cassette in my boombox, and try to catch it on the radio so I could tape it.  Once I finally recorded it, I must have listened to it a hundred times.

However, my love affair with this song quickly ended, when my dad tried to get me to sing it for an audition for Star Search a couple of years later.  I remember thinking that the song was soooooo old, and I felt so dorky doing it.  I ended up not going for the audition, and I couldn’t listen to the song for years after, because it reminded me of my adolescent awkward self trying to sing “I saw the sign, I saw the si–i-i-i-i-gn…I saw the sign…and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign.”  Actually I can’t even think about it now, because it’s giving me the creeps!  Awkward!

But I still love the song!

"Life is demanding, without understanding." <--How profound...

Wanna hear it?  Listen below…

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***Disclaimer:  I promise after this next one, I am done with all the cheesy pop music.***

8.)  Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera

“I’m a genie in a bottle ba-bayyy, you gotta rub me the right way hon-eyyy…”<–Ahhwhat?

Yeah, she really said that.

So, I had to put this song on the list because when I think of being a teeny-bopper, I think of this song.  I used to sing this song in my 1994 white Ford Tempo, with the volume all the way up, and had no idea what these lyrics meant.  I honestly thought she was talking about a genie in a bottle.  Ummm..duh!  Straight up though, this song makes me think of my youth.  When I hear it, memories of belly baring shirts, over-highlighted hair, pink lip gloss, and poor imitations of Christina’s riffing, come flooding back…in a good way.

Back when Christina was Christina and not diiiiiirty X-Tina.

Wanna listen to X-Tina wail about a genie in a bottle?  Have a listen below…

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7.)  Both Hands by Ani Difranco

When I moved to New York for college when I was 19, was when I became all artsy-fartsy.  It’s also when I discovered Ani Difranco…also know as…ANI (said with great awe and enthusiasm.)  One of the first friends I met in NYC was playing around one night on her acoustic guitar and played “Both Hands” for me.  I remember hearing the lyrics, “I’m recording our history now on the bedroom wall, and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all.”  This song always gives me a nostalgic feeling, and makes me think of my first year in New York.

Love her.

Wanna experience pure brilliance?  Listen below.

02 Both Hands

6.)  Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel

“My heart goin’ boom, boom, boom…”

This song defines my early 20’s.  After finishing school in New York, and feeling a little lost, I moved back home to Michigan for two years.  During that time, I put myself through cosmetology school, went through a bad break-up, and decided to move back to New York to pursue acting again and to try working as a hairstylist.  I just remember listening to this song over and over in my car when I was getting ready to go back to NYC, and being moved by it.  I don’t know how else to explain it.

If you ever go through a transitional phase in your life, discover this song.

This song will change your life.  Listen to it below and see for yourself…

Solsbury Hill

5.)  Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac

So, basically I am obsessed with Stevie Nicks…the hair, the long flowy dresses, the knee-high boots, the black-rimmed eyeliner, etc.  She’s no classic beauty, but she’s awesome.

This song reminds me of the second time I moved to New York, and the tiny little room I moved into.  You could seriously only fit a twin bed (barely) in there, and a little dresser.  I used to listen to this song over and over again.

A couple of years ago, I went to see Fleetwood Mac in a concert at Madison Square Garden, and Stevie sang this song.  She was amazing…naturally.  She said Gypsy is about finding love and about friendships.  This is what Stevie said about it: “Lightening strikes maybe once, maybe twice… that means one time in your life you find a very good friend, and maybe if you’re incredibly lucky, you might find a second. It all comes down to you, means but you have to look very hard.”

Love you, Stevie.

Seriously, how freaking cool is she?

Experience a little Stevie in your life…

04 Gypsy

4.)  Defying Gravity from the musical Wicked

Okay, so you all knew a quintessential theater nerd couldn’t resist putting at least one show tune on this list.  Really though, this song is phenom.

When I think of this song I think about coming to terms with leaving a bad job situation.  I had worked in a salon for a while, but over time, it became clear that it was not working out how I hoped it would.  It was disappointing, but I knew I had to move on.  I was scared to take such a risk, though.  I had put in a lot of time and hard work, so it was devastating to realize it was falling apart.  On top of all that, I was just feeling like I wasn’t good at anything.  It was kind of a low point, but I knew it had to get better because it couldn’t get any worse.

Right around that time, my Grandma Barkoff ended up passing away, and I went home to be with my family.  While I was home, I knew it was time to cut the strings with the job situation.  It took a lot of courage, but I finally left the job and moved on.  I ended up finding an amazing job soon after, where I felt appreciated and finally recognized for my talents.  It was the best decision I ever made.

And thus, “Defying Gravity” became my anthem.

P.S.  You know you’re a theater nerd when nothing pumps you up more than a show tune.

"I'm flying high defying gravity."

Get lifted.  Listen below…

11 Defying Gravity

3.)  Is this Love by Bob Marley

This song hands down reminds me of when Matt and I were falling in love.  On our second date he took me to a G Love concert in Central Park.  I remember he waited with me in line for almost an hour to use the gross porta-potty, and while we waited there we heard “Is this Love” by Bob Marley.  I said, “Oh my God, I love this song,” to which he replied, “Me too.”  We then had an awkward moment trying not to look at each other, because we were both probably thinking the same thing, which was…Is this love?

Bob the legend.

Wanna find out if this is love?  Listen below…

13 Is This Love

2.)  Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon

“People say she’s crazy, she’s got diamonds on the soles of her shoes.  Well, that’s one way to lose these walking blues, diamonds on the soles of your shoes.”

Oh Paul Simon, what can I say?  You speaka my language.

It was hard for me to narrow it down to just one Paul Simon song, because he is my favorite artist of all time.  There is something so completely beautiful about his lyrics and his ability to string melodies into them.  Recently I was a Barnes and Noble and got really excited when I found a hard-covered Paul Simon Lyrics coffee table book on one of those 60% off sales.  I snatched it right up, and have every intention of displaying it on my coffee table when Matt and I finally have a real apartment soon.  I love him and I love this song.

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes reminds me of when Matt and I first arrived in Grenada.  We listened to Paul Simon’s greatest hits album like it was out J-O-B.  This song was the perfect song to listen to after coming to a tropical paradise from the bitter cold of a New York winter.  It’s got sort of a Caribbean flair to it, and will always remind me of when we Matt started his medical career.

Wanna be soul-mates with me, Paul Simon?

Have a listen for yourself…

13_-_diamonds_on_the_soles_of_her_shoes_-_greatest_hits

1.)  Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

To know this song, is to love it.

I first heard this version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow probably about ten years ago.  It was playing in the credits at the end of a movie, which I can’t remember what that movie was now.  I absolutely loved it, and I have loved it ever since.

When I met Matt I found out that he loved it, too, and it basically became the theme song of our relationship.  It was playing when we got engaged, I walked down the aisle at our wedding to it, and we also had our first dance to it, too.  We both just absolutely love it, and maybe that’s because we both love Hawaii, and this song reminds us of paradise.  Either way, it’s a beautiful song, and in my opinion, the most beautiful ever.

Brother Iz is the bomb.

Listen below…

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~The End

Photos courtesy of blog.ctnews.com, amazon.com, freecodesource.com, worleygig.com, blog.needsupply.com, eightoclocktwilight.wordpress.com, rockhall.com, musicstack.com.