Why Miss Piggy and Kermit Are Gonna Make it, and Why Barbie and Ken Aren’t…

Barbie and Ken:

It’s no secret, Barbie and Ken have been together forever.

Good old Barb and Ken.

This picture is proof that Barbie and Ken have been together so long, that Ken hadn’t even discovered tanning yet, or highlights, and Barbie was still rocking the alabaster look.  Here’s hoping that when they finally discovered that being tan increased their attractiveness by 50%, that they at least went for a faux glow.

They’ve come a long way, huh?

It's amazing what a little tan and highlights can do...

Barbie and Ken have been through a lot over the years…

They got married…

Barb even had Princess Di's dress replicated...

They reproduced a beautiful child…

And named her Kelly.

But sadly, that still didn’t stop Ken from breaking up with Barbie in a very public way…

Barb, Ken wants a divorce...P.S. Who does that?!

Kind of makes you wonder what Barbie did to anger Ken so much…

Whatever the case was, Barbie and Ken separated, and a few years later Ken put up another public plea, but this time he wanted Barbie back…

Oh, Ken...Make up your mind!!

By Valentine’s Day 2011, Barbie had taken Ken back…Maybe it was for Kelly, or maybe she was just lonely without him, nonetheless they rekindled their love…

Sure, they look like the perfect couple on paper...

However, I personally think, that if Ken can break Barbie’s heart so publicly after all those years together, than I predict that their romance will no doubt eventually fizzle out again.  The point is, Barbie and Ken are the perfect couple on paper, but there is still something fundamentally wrong with their union, and we may never know what that is.

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog:

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have a bit of a tumultuous relationship, too.

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have been together a long time, too, but let’s face it, they haven’t always been the ideal couple.

In the early days, Kermit was making desperate attempts to flee Miss Piggy’s advances…

Kermy was NOT having it...

But somewhere along the way he conceded.  Maybe Kermit felt it was easier to just give in to her, or maybe he really started to really fall in love with Miss Piggy.

Nonetheless the Pig and the Frog married each other…

Kermy is totally feeling the love now...

Sure their relationship has been plagued with rumors of Miss Piggy coercing Kermit the Frog into marriage, but the point is, neither Miss Piggy or Kermy have confirmed nor denied the rumors.

The one thing that is clear, is who wears the pants in the relationship…

Sure she outweighs him, but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think he likes it that way.

The point is, unlike Barbie and Ken, who had a passionate courtship and are the perfect couple on paper, Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog’s love may not have started out ideal, but it grew over time.  They didn’t fall in love and get married right away, they were friends first, and that allowed their love to blossom over time.  Miss Piggy and Kermy have been through good times and bad, and have stayed together through it all.  That says something.

Most of all, Kermit the Frog could have easily put Miss Piggy on blast for pushing him into marriage, but he didn’t.  Unlike Ken, Kermy stuck by Miss Piggy no matter what.  What a guy, ahhh-hmmm…frog!

And that is why I think Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have what it takes to make it.

Forever.

~The End

Photos by muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Kermit_the_Frog, http://www.sesamestreet.org/muppets, coolgreenmag.com, alifeofstyle.com, womenarealwaysbeautiful.blogspot.com, longislandpress.com, adpr1400.blogspot.com

Everyone Gets Old…Well, Except For Maybe Barbie…

So, lately I’ve realized that I’m slowly becoming geriatric.  I know, I know, I’m only 28, so how is that possible?  Well, it is, and this story is sad, but true (P.S. This has absolutely nothing to do with the song Runaround Sue), but more to do with some very unfortunate realities that at some point we youngin’s have to accept.  Now, some of us have to accept this sooner than others (such as moi), but no matter what, everybody has to come to terms with aging sooner or later anyway.

I must disclose, there have been signs for at least a year now that I’m becoming somewhat of a fossil, but up until now, I was in denial.  However, after becoming conscious of the fact that I’m doing some very old-timer-esque things, it’s time to come clean, and make a change, and hopefully it will feel so good, make a difference, and feel so right<–like Michael Jackson said.

So, I bring you…

Top 5 Reason’s I’ve Been Acting Old:

Ratings are on a scale from 1-101 = not acting that old, and 10 = practically acting like a senior…

In no particular order…

1.)  I unintentionally started to use products that my G-ma used to love, (e.g. Ponds cold cream, and ivory soap.)  I thought I had discovered some really inexpensive beauty gems, until I told my mom of my new-found beauty regimen, and she reminded me that those were also my grandma’s favorite products. Dang it.  Old Fogie Rating Of: 8

2.)  I have discovered that I am now lactose intolerant, and now have to drink Lactaid milk, and take Lactaid pills any time I want to consume dairy.  I don’t think you really need/want to here about the reasons how I came to this conclusion, so I won’t even go there, because things could get really awkward for all of us.  Deal?  Since this one is really not my fault or choosing, I give it an Old Fogie Rating Of: 5

Apparently I'm not the only one getting old...

3.)  Lately I have had a new love for food that doesn’t require any chewing…e.g. soup, and oatmeal<–‘Nuff said.  Old Fogie Rating Of: 7

4.)  I used to absolutely hate the song Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye, mostly because when I was about 17, I was at a wedding and saw a bunch of couples my parents age grinding to it on the dance floor, so I always associated it with middle age booty dancing, and the song has remained timelessly awkward to me ever since….until…I recently heard it while grocery shopping, and had an intense urge to start grooving to the beat myself.  I held myself back, and resorted to humming along to it instead…regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Old Fogie Rating Of: 7

5.)  When Matt and I were on our honeymoon in Kauai, we spent a lot of time listening to old island music on a local radio station in our rented car.  Okay, okay, so that doesn’t exactly constitute as acting old, but the following does.  After a week or so of nothing but ukulele’s, we decided to find a radio station that played the Top 40’s…before I proceed, let me just say that it could have merely been that we started off on the wrong foot, because the first song we heard was Akon’s “I Just Had Sex.”  All I know is, we took one look at each other, mumbled something to the effect of, “What is this music these days?!” and I think I also remarked that it was “giving me a headache,” (which is so something that my dad used to say when we’d be listening to radio when I was a teenager.) Anyway, we listened to it for about 30 seconds, and flipped the radio right back to the ukulele station.  Old Fogie Rating Of: 9

I have other reasons, too, but I think you get the point by now…

I also want to say that along with these ways I’ve been acting old, I have also been feeling kind of old.  For example, on my honeymoon I saw a group of girls, who were no older than 21, frolicking along the beach in their bikini’s, with no cellulite, and a beer in one hand.  It was obvious that they could still drink those beers, without a fear of gaining a beer gut just yet, and it’s not even as though I like beer (because I actually hate it) but I felt, well…OLD.  I tried to remind myself that I’m not old, and that normally in other circumstances, I feel confident with myself…but I couldn’t help it, I still felt old.  I wouldn’t trade where I’m at in my life for anything, but sometimes, you can’t help it, you still just feel how you feel, even if it’s irrational.

Anyway, I think I would rather just embrace the fact that I am getting older, than fight it, but I have to remind myself to not lose sight of the fact that I am still only 28 for God’s sake!  Everybody gets older.  Everybody. 

Well, except for maybe..

The Barb-inator...

But sooner or later, even those girls who I saw on my honeymoon?  Well, they’re going to get old one day, too.

All photos courtesy of Barbie inc., and Anne Taintor.