Soooooo…can I call myself an author now??

Back when I was in the querying trenches for my recent novel, (for those of you who aren’t aspiring writers, that’s code for basically hell (HA!) but also just means a writer who’s seeking an agent/publisher for their current project) I used to pour over the success stories of fellow writers who had recently gotten an offer of representation or publication. Sometimes these stories would uplift me but other times I’d feel really dejected and like it was never going to happen for me.

To have done a success interview recently was kind of surreal, to be honest. Still doesn’t seem like it actually happened. But it did happen. And it’s out there with my name on it so it must be real, right?! And while we’re on the subject, can I call myself an author now or is that official once my book is released????? I have a lot of questions!

Anyway, if you want to read my interview, click the link below ✨

https://write-mentor.com/2019/03/25/sarah-barkoff-palma-writementor-success-stories/

Also, did anyone notice the new look of my blog?! 😬

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It’s been a long, long time…but I have news!

Hello out there, friends!

It’s certainly been a very long time and I hope you all haven’t forgotten about me. I haven’t forgotten about you, I promise! You see, although I’ve been away, I’ve had a very good reason–I was writing a book. And I have some really exciting news to share with you–I’m getting published! My young adult novel, THE WANDERERS, is being published June 2019 with Evernight Teen. I couldn’t be more thrilled and I’d love to take you all on my journey to publication if you’d like to come along for the ride. I’ll be regular blogging, too (much like I used to way back when) but I’ll also be sharing anecdotes and teasers from my upcoming book. Most importantly–and can I get a drum roll for this one, please–I’ll soon be revealing the book cover for THE WANDERERS! You all will be the very first to see it.

Wow, I’ve missed you all! It just hit me! How have you guys been? Be sure to drop me a line and say hi! I can’t wait to get reconnected and start sharing stories with you again! Also, want to let you know, soon the look of my blog will be slightly different, too, but that doesn’t mean all that much is going to change around here. Can you tell me, what do you all want to hear about? My two crazy kids? The story of how I came to be published (spoiler alert: that one ends awesome but there are many tears along the way.) You tell me!

Until then, know that you all were never far from my mind. I was just busy having kids, writing a book while they napped, and moving nine thousand times. Just kidding…well, kind of.

It’s good to be back!

xo

 

 

New Blog…

Hi Everyone,

I know it’s been a very long while, but I have a good excuse…I had a baby!  Yes, I had a beautiful baby boy, and now I’ve decided to start a new mommy blog that will mostly focus on navigating motherhood for the first time, though there will definitely be some of my old antics mixed in.  I invite you all to check it out if that sounds like it might interest you, and I really hope you will, because honestly, I’ve missed you all, and would love to hear from you.

Here’s the link:

Monk & Me

Please stop over and say hello if you have a minute, and if you have longer than a minute, please follow Monk & Me.

Hope to hear from you soon.

xo

Sarah

Long Time, No Read…

Is anybody out there? …

I repeat…is anybody out there?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Ha.  It’s been a long, long while, but just wanted to pop in to say heyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  Oh, and to give you the link to an essay I wrote, which was featured on HelloGiggles today.  Hooray!  Very excited about that.

And just so you know, I miss you guys like candy…or candaaaaaaaaay (insert Mandy Moore’s twangy voice.)

I promise I’ll be talking to you soon!

http://hellogiggles.com/ode-long-lost-granny-sweater/#read

xo

Sarah

 

20 Ways To Trick People Into Thinking You’re Smart…

Frenchy: Hey, Marty, are those new glasses? Marty: Oh yeah, I just got them for school. Don't you think they make me look smarter? Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face. down your bra?

Frenchy: Hey, Marty, are those new glasses?
Marty: Oh yeah, I just got them for school. Don’t you think they make me look smarter?
Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face.

1.  Attend art galleries, and act deeply moved when you’re staring face to face with a giant painting of nothing but a big black dot.

2.  Say ‘palate’ whenever referring to your taste in food.

3.  Wear black framed, non-prescription ‘nerd’ glasses.

4.  Live in Brooklyn.

5.  Repeat ideas smart people have said in your presence and pretend that they’re your own.

6.  Use words like, actually, literally, honestly, and personally, at the start of most sentences.

7.  If you watch any reality television, You. Must. Not. Admit. This. EVER.

8.  Tell people your favorite television shows are Homeland, any HBO show (other than True Blood), Downton Abbey, or Breaking Bad.

9.  If you have nothing intelligent to contribute to Facebook, Twitter, etc., at the very least, use these correctly: there, they’re, their, your, you’re, we’re, were, then, than.

10.  Pretend you’re really up on politics, but only read the headlines.

11. Tell people your favorite movies are foreign films, and then name drop at least three titles.  Extra points if you pronounce them correctly.

12.  Hang out at any coffee shop except Starbucks, and preferably one that sells crappy coffee that costs twice as much as the chains.

13.  Shop at independent bookstores, and scour the historical fiction section (hopefully while wearing your black framed nerd glasses.)

14.  Tell people you studied abroad.

15.  Tell people you’ve read lots of books, and name-drop titles like The Importance of Being Earnest, Ulysses, A Tale of Two Cities, The Odyssey, The Old Man and the Sea, etc.

16.  Talk about Freud and drop at least one of his theories into conversation at a dinner party.

17.  Say you love every Woody Allen movie whenever given the chance.

18.  Use the word ‘juxtaposed’ in a sentence correctly.

19.  Use words like layered, texture, ripe, raw and supple when describing music.  Bonus points if you can use any of those words to describe Bon Iver’s music.

20.  When drinking red wine with friends, first refer to the taste as full-bodied and complex, then once you really have their attention, talk about how you love the hints of oak and cedar wood.

~The End.

Pictures courtesy of IMDB

To Spill Or Not To Spill…

Do you ever get sick of yourself?  Like, when you’re talking, and suddenly you just want to scream, “Blah!  I don’t wanna talk about me anymore!  I’m over myself today!”  This happens to me a lot when I’m working at the salon, and mostly because I feel like so much of my day revolves around talking about my life.  I think other hair stylists will agree, when women are at the beauty salon they want to gossip, and let me tell you, I’ve heard some cray cray stuff in my time as a stylist.  What always surprises me, though, is how much clients want to know about me. Their questions range from personal to general, but I find that more often than not, I’m asked these questions: What brought you to New York? How long have you been married? How did you meet your husband?  What does your husband do?  Where do you live?  Do you want children?

Sometimes I feel like these ladies are looking at me all like:

You know you want to.

You know you want to.

I really don’t mind sharing things about my personal life, but sometimes it gets exhausting.  It can feel good to talk about myself and therapeutic to share stories, but there are other instances where divulging too much has made me feel overexposed.  I remember telling one client about the time Matt got really sick when we were living in Grenada and how scared I was.  An almost stranger knew about one of the most terrifying moments of my life, and I felt really weird about it afterward.

I think sharing personal anecdotes are one of the big ways women connect with each other (and human beings in general).  Women are emotional creatures, I get it, and I am very emotional, but I do find as I get older, I’m turning into more of a dude.  I don’t really like to have super long conversations on the phone anymore, I can’t stand gossip, and I’ve started to take things at face value more.  Maybe it’s because I live with a dude, maybe it’s because I’m content with where I am in my life, or maybe I simply spent my entire 20’s analyzing myself, and now at 30 I’m spent.  Either way, it’s safe to say I’m just not that into me anymore.  I mean, I love myself as I believe every confident person should, but I just don’t care to brag about how awesome my life is.

I guess I’m too busy living.

~The End.

Photo by Anne Taintor.

I’m Ba-ack!

I know, I know, it’s been ages, hasn’t it?  I’m sorry to be such a bad blogger, but my life got a little crazy there for a minute.  Just to give you an idea of everything that’s been going on, I thought the easiest way was to update briefly below.

First off…

I graduated college…

Actually had a good hair day, too.  Score.

Actually had a good hair day, too. Score.

I did the whole cap and gown thing, and my parents and Matt came to watch.  That day all I could hear was Taylor’s Swift’s song wailing in the back of my brain, “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-twooooooooo…”  I really felt twenty-two, and it was surreal in some ways, because I couldn’t believe it was finally over.  Like, I did it.  I graduated college and with honors.  I was a little sad, because well, I’m a nerd and I loved school, and I learned so much about myself when I went back to college.

Um, we got ourselves a little Shiba Inu pup…

It's a great, big beautiful world for this pup.

It’s a great, big beautiful world for this pup.

Her name is Annie, and I’m absolutely butt-crazy in love with this dog.  She’s smart and scrappy just like orphan Annie (her namesake).  Matt and I have been working hard to train her, taking her to obedience classes, and teaching her basic commands.  She’s a little smarty-pants, and she knows it!  She’s famous in our neighborhood, too.  I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that every time I take her out for a walk at least four people stop to ask about her, and Annie just sits there, taking in all the attention like a little movie star.  Obviously, this would be my dog.

Right before graduation I found out that my screenplay was selected for my school’s annual film festival…

Screen shot 2013-06-30 at 5.06.33 PM

It was probably one of the most exciting things that I’ve ever gotten to be a part of.  Each year The New School holds a film festival where they select a handful of screenplays to be read by real actors at a live table reading in front of an audience.  My script went through heavy editing for weeks beforehand so that it would be in it’s best shape for the film festival.  When the night of the reading finally happened it was nerve-racking to hear my script come to life, but I swear I’ve never felt cooler in my entire life.

Not much else to report, except that Annie has her own Twitter page, and I would be tickled pink if you’d follow her!  The reason it came about was that one day I just sort of started doing commentary for Annie in this little voice that’s supposed to be what she’s thinking, and although it makes me seem a little (or a lot) crazy, I can’t stop doing it.  What better way than to share my eccentricities with the world!  If you want to know what Annie is thinking, follow her at https://twitter.com/LoveAlwaysAnnie.

It’s good to be back blogging.  I’ve missed you all!

~The End.