After I finished Six Things I Might Never Understand I immediately thought of a billion other things to add to the list. I had no idea that post would blow up the way it did, but keeping with the tradition I thought I’d add…
Six MORE Things I Might Never Understand.
1.) Pajamas in public…especially celebrities who wear pajamas in public.
C’mon people seriously? I don’t get why some people wear their p.j.’s to run errands such as shopping, getting gas, having their nails done, etc. How hard is it to just slip some jeans on? Or even yoga pants? Why wear the plaid pajama bottoms that are clearly made to sleep in? I don’t know about you, but for me this screams, “I just woke up, didn’t shower, and I was too lazy to dress myself so here I am, world!” You wanna know why? Because I’ve never heard of anyone showering and then putting their sleep clothes back on to go outside. I mean, does that happen? You guys tell me.
2.) Why I ALWAYS pick the squeaky cart at the grocery store.
Why, WHY, WHYYYYYY, must I always pick the squeaky cart?! As fate would have it, each and every time, no matter what I do, I get a cart that either screeches, scrapes, or squeals at the grocery store. It never fails. I have even gone as far as to put one cart back, and grab another, only to find that, that cart also squeaks! What typically ends up happening is that I give up, go about my shopping, often to find every person I pass turning around to see where that awful sound is coming from. UGH.
I may never know the meaning behind this, or if I’m meant to learn some significant life lesson from it…Patience, perhaps? I’ll keep you posted if I have any revelations on the matter, though.
3.) Sheryl Crow using one, yes only ONE, toilet paper square to wipe.
She was quoted as saying, “I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.”
Speak for yourself, Sher.
Okay, so I respect the message behind Sheryl’s stance, but I’ve got to say, it’s not realistic. How would that little square even do anything?! In my opinion, why even wipe at all then? That little sucker is not going to go very far, can we all agree on that at least? I think my favorite part is when she eloquently references “those times where you might need two or three…” Two or three?! That’s it, Sher? I don’t think I need to get into why that is not sufficient, do I?
4.) Chelsea Handler
Someone please make me understand! I really want to get what it is that is so funny about this woman, because right now I’m in the minority.
I’ve tried you guys, I really have, but I still don’t get it. Does she have to grow on you? Maybe it’s that sort of thing….Whatever it is, at this moment I don’t find her antics at all entertaining. See, here’s the thing: I usually enjoy a sort of dry sense of humor, but with her, I can’t help but find her extremely obnoxious. The fact that Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon are her good friends makes me want to understand her appeal more, because I love those two. Unfortunately, until I do, I remain a part of the “I just don’t get it” club.
5.) Why I can’t learn to read a map.
I can read the light up maps at the mall…Does that count? Just kidding. I would say I have a decent sense of direction. For example, if I’ve been somewhere once, I can usually remember how to find my way there or back, but it has nothing to do with road signs. If I start to read signs, I’ll get lost. I’m better listening to my intuition and just going with it.
It’s a different story when it comes to road maps. Let me put it this way, if my life was dependent on finding my way home by reading a road map, I wouldn’t make it home. I also don’t understand highways or how to read a compass. What I’m basically getting at, is that I am not the person you want with you when you’re lost.
6.) The backlash on Paula Deen.
Okay, so correction, I do get what some people’s stances are on the controversy with Paula Deen, but I don’t agree with it.
Why? For many reasons that I’m not going to go full throttle into, so let’s just leave it at that I love her. Like, I want to hang out and cook some of that down home cookin’ with her. If you’re out there Paula Deen, pick me pick me! I want to make some of that jello poke cake with you. Please?
A lot of people came out and scathed her after she announced her diabetes diagnosis, but I remain a true fan, and feel only she knows the reasons behind the choices that she made. Whatever she chose, I heart her.
Oh yeah, and that guy, Anthony Bourdain, who comes out periodically to harass her? Dude needs to get a life, because clearly he’s living off of her publicity. Note to Anthony…lay off my Paula…Mmmkay?
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